The Teams
South Africa
No host country has ever failed to reach the knockout stages of a World Cup, however with Bafana Bafana playing poorly and a lack of quality players there are fears amongst the locals that they could be the first. The sound of 50,000 crazy fans backing them might just propel them through though.
Why They Will Win It - Home Support counts for a long way
Why They Won’t - They’re ranked 90th in the world for a reason
Star Man - Steven Pienaar
France
They may have booked their place in South Africa after controversially eliminating the Irish in qualifying but underestimate them at your peril. The French won it in ’98 and were runners up in ’06. They have the pedigree to be real force.
Why They Will Win It - A blend of experience and youth makes the French a potent force
Why They Won’t - The manager is batshit crazy and picks players based on their star signs
Star Man - Frank Ribery
Mexico
The football mad country has yearned for a team worthy to fit the passion of their support and many feel this young crop of players have the chance to do well under legendary manager Javier Aguire
Why They Will Win It - Flair, Pace and unpredictability make them a tough opponent
Why They Won’t - They rely heavily on striker Blanco who relies heavily on a zimmerframe
Star Man - Andres Gurdadao
Uruguay
They won the first ever tournament held in 1930 but since then it’s been disappointment after disappointment. They do however posses one of the most deadly strikers in the game in the shape of Diego Forlan.
Why They Will Win It - They play dirty but have a man who can put the ball in the net
Why They Won’t - They are notoriously bad travelers
Star Man - Diego Forlan
Argentina
Blessed with a plethora of talent the Argentinean FA decided to appoint Diego Maradonna as the man to coerce a third World Cup out of them. He has frankly done a useless job so far, limping to the finals unspectacularly. However in Lionel Messi they have the best player in the world so anything is possible.
Why They Will Win It - Very few teams come close to the firepower in the squad. Having the best player in the world also helps.
Why They Won’t - They are yet to click as a team and don’t look like threatening to do so.
Star Man - Lionel Messi
Greece
The dullest most boring football team in the competition. They won the Euro’s back in 2004 shocking the world. They did this by playing a super defensive system and 6 years on are still to stray from that style of play.
Why They Will Win It - The coach Otto Reghal has them drilled to perfection
Why They Won’t - They simply don’t score enough goals
Star Man - Sotoris Ninis
Nigeria
An African Powerhouse who always threaten to do well in World Cup’s but rarely deliver. However this time the tournament is on their home continent and they have a huge advantage.
Why They Will Win It - Always a threat, but perhaps they will finally fulfill their potential?
Why They Won’t - The squad is unbalanced with too many defensive players
Star Man - Kalu Uche
South Korea
The crazy scenes of Korean fans going mental 8 years ago will seem a long way off for this team. If they manage to advance from the group stage then they will have done exceptionally well for a nation renowned for being poor on the road.
Why They Will Win It - As they showed in ’02 never underestimate them
Why They Won’t - Their record outside of Korea is poor
Star Man - Park Ji-Sung
England
Every year is supposedly their year, however, whisper it quietly, there is a growing belief that this group of players under the genius of manager Fabio Capello could go all the way. Stars all over the pitch such as John Terry, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Ashley Cole are all playing as a team. There’s also the fact that Wayne Rooney has emerged as a genuine World Class player.
Why They Will Win It - The manager has taken his pampered stars and turned them into a superb football team that fear no-one
Why They Won’t - Penalties. England have exited 3 out of the last 4 World Cup’s after losing a penalty shootout.
Star Man - Wayne Rooney
U.S.A
Finally the Yanks have put together a team capable of beating the best, as showed last summer when they triumphed over Spain. They work hard and are tough to break down defensively. Landon Donovan has proved that he is more than at home playing with the worlds best when he went on loan to Everton in the EPL this season. Throw in a genuinely world class goalie in the shape of Time Howard and American soccer fans are starting to believe. Are the rulers of the world about to dominate another sport?
Why They Will Win It - Teamwork. Quite simply these players have shown that despite a lack of ability they are willing to die for each other
Why They Won’t - Wreckless drivers. Charlie Davis, the teams top scorer, is out of the tournament after sustaining horrific injuries in a car crash
Star Man - Landon Donovan.
Algeria
Arriving at the tournament after defeating hated rivals Egypt in one of the most passionate games the sport has ever seen, the Algerians then tanked at the African Cup of Nations. They fight within the team and have just culled one of their better players for the World Cup. They seem to have no hope, however nobody gave Iran a chance against USA back in ’98 and look how that turned out!
Why They Will Win It - With the whole of the Arab world backing them they have a lot of support
Why They Won’t - They have very few good players and the cutting of Bouazza from the squad is madness
Star Man - Nadir Belhadj
Slovenia
Friendly Slovenia, lovely Slovenia, unknown Slovenia. They beat the Russians in a playoff to get here so they have something about them that’s for sure. The key for them is not to be overawed by the occasion and get on with their game which can be as effective as anyones. Remember... don’t call them Slovakia.
Why They Will Win It - They have the nicest jersey at the World Cup
Why They Won’t - The word ‘nice’ has been used far to much in their preparations
Star Man - Milivoje Novikovic
Germany
The masters of tournament football. Always there or there abouts. There is a saying that football is played for 90 minutes between two teams of 11 men and at the end of it the Germans win. Every 4 years we are told that they have a weak team and every 4 years they steamroll everybody else. They may be limited, but like their cars they are efficient and get the job done.
Why They Will Win It - Penalties. The Germans have never lost a penalty shootout
Why They Won’t - Captain and talisman Michael Ballack is injured after a horror tackle by Ghanian player Kevin-Prince Boateng whose brother Jerome Boateng plays for Germany... go figure.
Star Man - Bastien Schweinsteiger
Australia
A country more renowned for it’s love of Cricket and Rugby fell in love with football 4 years ago when the Socceroos captured the imagination of the nation. A heartbreaking last minute loss to Italy in the round of 16 has only psyched the Aussies up more. This time they promise to be less naive. The potential of meeting the old enemy England in the last 16 is something of a carrot too.
Why They Will Win It - They are fighters, as they showed 4 years ago
Why They Won’t - They lack a decent striker after fat boy Viduka called it a day
Star Man - Tim Cahill
Ghana
An African team who are a genuine threat. They are fast and athletic and have real quality all over the pitch. Arguably they posses Africa’s best chance of winning the World Cup on home soil. As with all the African teams don’t underestimate the pride these players will feel playing a World Cup on their home continent.
Why They Will Win It - Physicallity. This team are all absolute beasts
Why They Won’t - Their Goalie is third choice at Birmingham City... Ouch.
Star Man - Michael Essien
Serbia
Their first World Cup separate from Montenegro and this lot are to be underestimated at your peril. A mean defensive duo of Subotic and Vidic will make this team nigh on impossible to break down, add in the goalscoring potential of giants Zigic and Lecij and Serbia start to look like genuine contenders for a shock victory in South Africa. One to fear and avoid.
Why They Will Win It - The defense is as strong as anyone’s going to South Africa.
Why They Won’t - Inexperience could cost this potentially effective tam dear.
Star Man - Nemanja Vidic
Cameroon
Another of Africa’s leading lights. They have constantly performed well at World Cups and few can forget Roger Milla slamming in a goal aged 40 back in ’94. This time they once again posses a squad capable of achieving great things and have been handed a relatively open group. They also break the African tradition of useless goalie’s by having Carlos Kameni in goal
Why They Will Win It - They have what so many teams lack, a genuine world class striker in Samuel Eto’o
Why They Won’t - They posses a few too many players on the fringes of their club’s team’s
Star Man - Samuel Eto’o
Japan
They always qualify and they always do poorly. After a good showing in their homeland back in ’02 the Japanese reverted to type in Germany 4 years later by crashing out in the group stage, however Group E is wide open for someone to claim second place.
Why They Will Win It - They have the technology
Why They Won’t - They Don’t have the players
Star Man - Shunsuke Nakamura
Holland
The greatest team never to win a World Cup will try again in South Africa with a squad teeming with talent. Solid at the back, deadly up front and with Robin van Persie returning to fitness at just the right time coupled with the blistering form of Arjen Robben the Dutch are quite simply a team you do not want to face. On their day they will beat anyone in the world, and not just beat them, annihilate them.
Why They Will Win It - It’s their time, they have to win it eventually right?
Why They Won’t - They always always find a way to mess it up
Star Man - Wesley Sneijder
Denmark
Their greatest moment came in they won the Euro’s back in ’92, however their World Cup pedigree is not that great bar a disgusting kit worn back in the 70’s. They did however qualify easily from a tough group containing Portugal and Hungary and like many second level European teams could prove to be a tricky opponent
Why They Will Win It - Underestimation from other teams
Why They Won’t - They’re underestimated for a reason, they always seem to choke in World Cup’s
Star Man - Simon Kjaer
Italy
The defending champions have all the experience in the world, maintaining basically the same squad from 4 years ago. However that is also their weakness. This team is creaking and Inter Milan’s domestic success has come without the aid of any Italian players. But this is how the Italians like it, to be written off. Expect plenty of solid 1-0 victories on route to the final, or a hilarious dramatic collapse early on a la 2002
Why They Will Win It - This group of players know exactly what’s needed to win a World Cup
Why They Won’t - Are these the slowest defending champions ever?
Star Man - Gigi Buffon
New Zealand
The All Whites Fall into the category of ‘just happy to be here’. If they manage to score a goal chances are they will declare a national holiday. Their strike force consists of a 17 year old and a man who can’t make the Plymouth Argyle team. This will surely be used as a tool to drum up interest in the Rugby mad country back home.
Why They Will Win It - The Haka is the most intimidating moment in sport, should the football players do it as well as the Rugby team then they may just scare their way to victory
Why They Won’t - They’re really really bad.
Star Man - Ryan Nelson
Paraguay
Always at the World Cup and always achieving average to poor results. They look as though they will be doing the same again this time around, even more so after super striker spent most of the season stuck on the bench at Man City. They don’t even have a set piece taking goalie to brighten the mood anymore
Why They Will Win It - Roque Sanata Cruz is by far the best looking man in the competition, perhaps opposition defenses will let him score in the name of love.
Why They Won’t - They always just seem to give up halfway through the tournament
Star Man - Roque Santa Cruz
Slovakia
No I didn’t already do them, that was Slovenia. Slovakia are actually a tad better then their similarly named counterparts, however they are appearing in their first World Cup and will be hoping the tournament doesn’t pass them by. They will either be a must see surprise or an expectant limp dog.
Why They Will Win It - The group they are in is the easiest one in the competition. Advance and anything is possible
Why They Won’t - They lack star power
Star Man - Marek Hamsik
Brazil
They’ve won it 5 times and chances are they will make it 6. They are the only nation to ever win it on a foreign continent (twice in ’50 and ’02) so the perils of Africa won’t worry them. They are strong at the back and have peerless wing backs bombing forward. Dani Alves doesn’t even start for them! They also have the Brazil factor and always always always seem to win. Few can begrudge them though as they usually manage to do it with style and verve. As an added bonus their female supporters are usually scantily clad and smoking hot.
Why They Will Win It - So few teams come close to their talented squad they might simply just blow the competition away
Why They Won’t - The team full of stars might just fail to live up to the sum of their parts
Star Man - Kaka’
Portugal
With the Golden Generation all but gone it’s up to Cristiano Ronaldo to lead the way now. What a man to lead the way though, he is the worlds most expensive player costing Real Madrid $116 million and on his day is quite simply unstoppable. Portugal have been placed in The Group of Death and even if they do advance the chances are they could meet Iberian neighbors Spain in the next round. A great tournament isn’t beyond them but it’s going to be hard work
Why They Will Win It - Ronaldo, He’s the LeBron of football
Why They Won’t - A tough draw and an over reliance on one man
Star Man - Cristiano Ronaldo
Ivory Coast
The best African team in the competition with class all over the pitch. They must have thought this year was their chance to become the first ever African winners of the World Cup, however the saying of you have to beat the best to be the best will ring true for The Elephants as they look to battle out of the Group of Death for the second successive tournament.
Why They Will Win It - They possess the worlds greatest striker in Didier Drogba, on his day he is unplayable
Why They Won’t - A lack of depth on the squad and a tough draw
Star Man - Didier Drogba
North Korea
They haven’t qualified since 1966 and quite simply we know very little about the team due to the secretive nature of Kim Jung Il. Their games will not be shown in North Korea unless they win.... good luck with that in this group.
Why They Will Win It - In order to stave off Nuclear War the rest of the world might decide to roll over for them
Why They Won’t - The players might make a run for it once their out from under the watchful eye of The Dear Leader
Star Man - Kim Jung Il.... because he says so
Spain
Where to start with the superlatives. Spain are the best team on the planet right now, they ooze class and quality everywhere, they have the best attack, the best defense and the best midfield. A chimpanzee could manage this lot and they would still win the damn thing. On their day they are unstoppable as they proved 2 years ago when they won the Euro’s in style. Players who would waltz into other teams don’t even make the Spain squad. They have never won a World Cup.... it’s time to start believing.
Why They Will Win It - They are the best team going to South Africa
Why They Won’t - U.S.A proved last year that they can be beaten when they recorded a smash and grab 2-0 victory.
Star Man - Xavi
Switzerland
Hooray. Lovable Switzerland. Everybody loves a neutral country right? Well it seems that way after FIFA drew the Swiss in a wide open group where anyone can claim second place. They put in a good showing at the last World Cup, despite looking a bit weak up top. The draw really gives them a chance to progress in South Africa
Why They Will WIn it - Nobody has any motive to beat the Swiss, they make great chocolate and watches
Why They Won’t - They still look a little frail up top and rely on the aging Frei for goals.
Star Man - Gohkan Inler
Honduras
When Honduras qualified they declared a national holiday across the country, this is a big deal. They have also been given an ideal group, one with a Spanish flavor which is wide open. More and more Honduran players are starting to crop up in the major leagues across Europe too. They could be a team to surprise everyone
Why They Will Win It - They had 2 days of celebration when they qualified, if they won the team would probably have their pick of the countries virgins.... incentive enough.
Why They Won’t - Naivety, they don’t seem to have what it takes to do well
Star Man - Wilson Palacios
Chile
The surprise qualifiers from South America play with real flair and pazzaz. This is due in part to their manager Bielsa who is quite simply nuts. He has blended together a team of young players who beat Brazil in qualifying as well as Argentina. The coach may be know as the Mad Man but he appears to be smarter than everyone gives him credit for.
Why They Will Win It - They are young, dumb and full of.... exuberance.
Why They Won’t - They have promised so much before and deceived so badly
Star Man - Alexis Sanchez
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Thanks for this guide haha. It's entertaining and actually pretty helpful for me :D
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